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Short Story - Friendship

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Post by BasilMeer Fri Nov 26, 2010 10:13 am

This is a short story that I just wrote and wanted to post it here so here it is. If it needs some editing, lemme know ASAP.
Spoiler:


Last edited by BasilMeer on Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by IMP1 Fri Nov 26, 2010 11:18 am

I like the message you're conveying, but it starts off a bit too much like a kids story, and ends up not at all like a kids story. And that's cool and all, but things happen in the beginning a little too matter-of-fact-ly.
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Post by Elfsong Fri Nov 26, 2010 10:34 pm

Yes very good overall I think saying they once ion a while instaed of the bandits would help as well over all very nice!
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